I cannot describe to you just how much I love this boy of mine.
He means the world to me. Every single day. But I cannot help but think about how truly blessed I am to be his mother on Mother's Day.
Being a mother is hard work. It is exhausting, relentless and sometimes the hardest thing in the world. And yet, it is also one of the most beautiful and rewarding things and for that I shall never lose my gratitude for the opportunity to be somebody's mother...
And, boy, did I get one gorgeous boy to mother!
But it isn't always so simple. Mother's Day can bring about so many raw emotions for so many women (and those who love them). Women who have lost their own mothers. Those who are desperate to become a mother but for one reason or another cannot. And for any mother who has lost a child, the day must be full of emotion too.
Then there are those children in care who are desperate for a mother to love and cherish them, to be all a mother is supposed to be, to have someone to call "mum" whenever they want or need to. And yet, even following adoption, there must be complex feelings revolving around their birth mum... I've been reading a few blogs lately that have highlighted that to me.
So today, whilst I am enjoying the welcome break from motherly duties, lovingly provided by TJ as a treat, I cannot help but reflect on how truly lucky I am to have been given the opportunity to enjoy Mother's Day this year and last without any heartache mixed in.
We've had to make some tough choices about our future as a family and we still don't know what the future holds. We may never get the joy of sharing our lives with another child, or we may open our hearts and homes to a child for whom Mother's Day can bring up some very real and raw emotions. But either way, I shall endeavour to always remember how incredibly blessed we have been and keep everything in perspective as much as we can.
We've had a rough ride as a family, but for today I am living in gratitude for all that we have been given.